We all have habits. Some of them are nice ones and some of them are not-so-nice. These behaviors are almost embedded in our brain that have been internalized and happens almost automatically without us realizing it. We all want to change a habit, one habit that we would like to get rid of and another that we would like to adapt to.
Habits like poking nose, biting nails, stuffing with cookies before going to sleep, drinking too much, smoking too much, playing cards on the computer for hours, staying hooked on Facebook are annoying habits, we often use without realizing it and we forgot how to get rid of it.
There is almost a consensus that it takes about 3/4 weeks for a habit to get developed. We have listed some steps to change a habit bit easier, and get rid of the annoying ones at the same time.
What is a habit?
It is a usually an action that is done without any motivation to yourself, without effort. It is mechanically automatic, easy and repeated gesture. We are used to drinking coffee or tea in the morning, taking a shower, getting dressed, etc. We also have bad habits, these are the ones that distance us from what we want in life.
How does a habit develop?
It’s simple and ingenious. Habit is a loop. Initially, we experience a moment of boredom or uneasiness, a small inner voice suggests a way to feel better. We go through our habit, our routine, and we get satisfied for a while. Then everything starts again. So there is the call, the routine, the reward and return to the call. For example: 1. You are sitting or lying on your sofa, it is 5 pm, it is a hollow moment, your loved ones have not arrived or you live alone, you feel a little hunger; 2. You pick up the bag of chips and eat it; 3. for a few minutes, you’re fine, the chips are good. The next day, back to 1, you start again …
A thrifty brain
Each day, our brain tries to automate as many actions as possible. It wishes to avoid efforts, either to devote itself to more important tasks, or to rest. It goes like this: the first time we take any action, our brain is very active, it consumes a lot of energy, it tires us a lot, then, little by little, by dint of repetition, it stops getting tired, because brain knows by heart what to do. The action becomes almost unconscious. The catch is that it also works for bad habits. After repeating to yourself “I’m going to take it easy on wine tonight”, you realize that you have been fooled by your dear automatic brain when, in the middle of the evening, you see yourself starting the fourth glass.
Now, let’s look at the steps to change and replace your bad habit with good ones.
Step 1. The first step is to define your goal
When we are trying to stop or break a habit, we should try to formulate our goal as a positive statement. For example, instead of saying “I’m going to stop snacking at night”, we have to say “I’m going to adopt good food hygiene” instead. We should also note this objective.
Step 2. Choose your replacement habit
If our goal is to develop a new habit, our replacement behavior will itself become our goal. This step is very important when trying to break a habit. If we don’t install override behavior, there’s a good chance that the old behavior will resurface. If we want to quit smoking, it is pretty certain that we will need to find a substitute for, like jogging, walking, or whatever. So to make it easier for us, we have think about the replacement habit right away. No exceptions.
Step 3. Learn and be aware of your triggers
Since our behaviors are not independent, a habit is normally associated with another part of our routine like snacking for example. The trigger can be television or a “passive” activity such as watching a video on the internet… Absorbed by what we watch, and without realizing it we can end up a packet of chips.
Determining the triggers for our behaviors will help us anticipate them. If we are aware of this moment (i.e. boredom, fatigue, malaise), we will have the opportunity to say no.
Step 4. Post reminders for yourself
We can start doing this ourselves by leaving notes in the places where the behavior usually occurs. Or we can leave a message on the mirror, fridge, computer screen or another place where we get to see it regularly. We can also rely on a friend, colleague or family member to remind us, the goal being not to let old reflexes reappear. It is a kind of manifesto. Any job is easier with help. The ideal would be to link ourselves to a person who pursues the same objective as us.
Time
How long does it take to say goodbye to a bad habit? There area many suggestions about it. Researchers have proven that if you follow “Steps to Change a Habit” seriously, after 66 days, we forget our bad habits. After a whole year, we will have had time to acquire a new good habit.
Good Luck!
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